#ICareAboutHerCampaign Champion Chrispin Simano is a Village Headman in Kazungula District. He shared this story with me (Misozi Tembo) during #16DaysofActivism
My
niece was 10 years old when she was defiled by her brother in law. She
is a double orphan, my late sister’s daughter. After my sister died, my
eldest niece took the girl in question to live with her and her husband -
committing to be responsible for her and sending her to school.
Unfortunately, my eldest niece’s husband used to defile my little niece and eventually impregnated her.
No
one knew what that man was doing to my niece until the time elderly
women noticed that she was failing to walk. Upon examining my niece,
they discovered bruises on her body and that she was pregnant.
Thereafter, the same women came and informed me of what had happened to
my niece.
To say that I was angry and in shock is an
understatement. I think "lost" is the right word. In that moment, had
that man been near, I could have killed him but thankfully with the help
of the community, we reported the matter to the police and the culprit
was arrested and charged.
Unfortunately, the court dismissed the
case stating lack of evidence. The community and I were shocked and very
disappointed with the verdict. I don’t know what evidence they were
looking for because my niece is physically and emotionally traumatized.
She is now a mother at 12 years old.
Being part of the I Care
About Her! Campaign men's discussion group has helped me deal with this
tragedy and not give up on finding justice for my little girl. I will
not rest until that man is jailed.
Author's Note:
As a champion of women's rights, I am about fairness and equality. With
this background, it took me a while to realize that whenever a girl or
woman is defiled, raped, beaten or abused in any way, there's a man
somewhere that is also violated. It could be a father, an uncle,
brother, friend, husband, nephew or a son.
In most cases, men do
not talk about their experience after a loved one is violated. This is
mostly due to a sense of shame and failure; fear of being labelled as
weak, pain or not finding the right space to express their emotions.
Its
for this reason in my opinion that Zambia's I Care About Her Campaign
is very important. It provides a great platform for good men to finally
condemn violence against women and girls. It also calls and motivates
them to take action to stop the violence in their homes, families,
communities and work places. Implementing this campaign has taught me
the following:
- Every woman is another man's daughter and most fathers think the world of their daughters.
- There are more good men than bad ones only the good ones are too silent.
- Men are interested in championing women's rights however, its important to identify the right messages for them.
- Men are easily influenced by other men than women.
- Most of the perpetrators of rape, defilement, beating, early marriages or child marriages are men. Therefore, using other men to engage them is a strategic approach.
- Men in most societies hold too much power and it is important for them to learn to use this power as a way of taking action to stop violence against women and girls.
- Women also celebrate wrong things and perpetrate violence.
- Violence Against Women and Girls is not only a women's rights issue, it is a human rights issue.
